Partying Like A Legend Aged 48 1/2 (Someone Pass The Mint Tea)

Drinks For Illustration Purposes Only.


Yesterday was the wedding of some very close friends and we danced all night like it was 1995. Actually that’s not entirely true. From 11pm til midnight we danced like it was ’95. The rest of the time we partied like we were 95. The setting was beautiful with the ceremony and reception outside at the Bluebell in Dockenfield near Farnham. We’ve been looking forward to it for a year for a few reasons. To see our friends getting married of course but equally as it meant we had a weekend away without the girls and Honey the dog. Rachel was shocked and disappointed however when I informed her a while ago I probably wouldn’t be drinking alcohol.




When I was younger drinking often meant downing bottles of Hooch / Smirnoff Ice until I either passed out or tried to snog a plant pot. I’d wake up (if I actually went to bed) and would go straight to work as normal, no hangover at all. I still don’t understand how I ever did it. Nowadays if I have one or two drinks I feel a bit sluggish the next day. If I have more than that I can’t do anything for at least three days. I also don’t actually like drinking anymore. Even my fave tipple, Amaretto on the rocks doesn’t have the same allure it once had. I’ve always felt there’s a culture here of having to drink to let yourself go and have fun. Even now approaching 49 most people I know are still like that. 


Personally I’ve never been someone who needs to drink to have fun or act like a loon. In 1993 I went to my first and only rave in the glamorous setting of South Harrow. I spent 4 hours dancing madly like a troubled wildebeest with my MC Hammer style purple joggers pulled up over my shoulders. All this on water, the occasional diet coke and nothing else, liquid or otherwise. I had five people ask me for drugs and one who just said, “What are you on man?” I replied, “Life man, I’m on life!” He looked a bit freaked out and ran away. Anyway, forget all that nostalgia, back to the wedding.


Where Are The Purple Joggers?


Victoria and Ben have been together for 11 years and have two beautiful girls who are 7 and 9. They had the registry office bit a few weeks ago so yesterday was a gorgeous Buddhist service under a huge willow tree adorned with dream catchers. Seeing the way they looked at each other was quite emotional. It reminded me of how I looked at Kate Bush when I saw her in concert. With pure and complete unconditional love, very moving.  During the drinks reception, (which started at 3pm) I definitely didn’t secretly listen to the England v Sweden game by hiding ear plug leads under my shirt and covering my ear with my hand. That would be very wrong and inappropriate. Glad we got that sorted out.   


Do We Need Anything Else From Sainsbury’s?


Do you know what, I’m struggling a bit here. It’s probably the heat, (9.50pm and still 27c) so I’m just going to give you a quick roundup if that’s ok. Whilst lots of the guests drunk Pimm’s all day Rach had about 3 mint teas and I drunk lots of fruity water. At one stage we saw one of Victoria’s friends with a bottle of Vodka and a tray of shot glasses. That all got a bit messy. We spent most of the evening chatting and eating cheese and crackers. I’m seriously slowly turning into my Grandpa, it’s a bit scary. All I need to do is have my hair slicked back with castor oil and smoke a pipe and I’m there.  


Silent Disco’s Rock!


Eventually at 11pm the band finished and the silent disco began. I’d been waiting all day for this moment. If you’ve never experienced this you have to try it. You all have headphones with a choice of three channel settings. They were 80’s, 90’s – modern and dance I think. You could flick between channels and dance away in your own little world. You knew what people were listening to by the colour on their headphones. Occasionally they’d be a proper old school tune and we’d all be jumping in unison which was awesome. No Jump Around by House of Pain though which was a bit sad.


Rachel’s Freakishly Large Thumb Was Terrifying.


We left at midnight and the party finished a short while afterwards. We’d had a great time and most importantly wouldn’t have a hangover in the morning. I’m not quite sure where this has been leading so I’ll finish by summarising using bullet points as I’m posh.


  • Our friends wedding was beautiful and we love them.  
  • Some people were hammered and watching them try and speak coherently (and failing) was great fun.
  • Me and Rach are slowly turning into our grandparents.
  • I still want to go clubbing and dance to old school classics.
  • I had a plate of salad for the first time ever.
  • You most likely don’t care about that but I’m telling you anyway.   
  • Silent disco’s are the best and I’m having one for my 50th.
  • When is it going to cool down a bit, it’s sooooo hot.
  • Goodbye.


My Not Very Secret Man Crush.

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